It's What's On The Inside That Matters!

Just keep on keeping on. No matter what obstacles stand in your way, keep moving. It may not be perfect, but it's ok, it doesn't have to be.

At the end of the day, all they want is you. All they need is you. Do what you can to be the best YOU that you can be. Not for them, but for YOU.

When all else fails, speak it until your heart believes it and your body follows.

Transparent moment here:  I've been wearing my hair in a protective style for the last five months. I've switched up a few times but finally felt like it was time for my hair to breathe. 

My daughter helped me to remove the crochet curls and take the cornrows out.  I totally forgot that I cut over 8 inches of my hair before putting the crochet in.  I am sure you can imagine the surprise I had when I looked at my little gray afro! 🤣

I've embraced my gray hair over the past few years and from time to time when my curls stand up just right, an extra sexy comes over me! That volume is what I love most. In fact, if I had the volume that I desire, I wouldn't even SEE THE GRAY! 😂 I'm a big girl, "fluffy girl friendly" to be exact; so I feel at my best when my hair is well proportioned to my body.

I remember when I was about 12 years old, I would watch my mom dye her grays and I would always say, "when I turn gray, I am NOT dying my hair". My mom would respond, "you just wait!" I never really asked her why she died her hair. I just watched. Ha! Well here I am at a crossroad. Trying to get pass what I see staring back at me.

Let me explain: I think the BIG protective style really screams, THE BLING SLINGER! I love the way I look and the way I feel when wearing the big curls!  Just like my jewelry, my hair is a BIG part of who I am, its my BRAND!  When I look in the mirror and see the BIG curls, I feel fierce and confident.  

To be quite honest with you, if I wasn't this big bling slinging persona and if going live wasn't a big part of what I do, I am sure my scalp would NEVER see a protective style; especially during a pandemic.

So where do I find the balance?  I have friends who whisper in my ear..."gurl, dye your hair, already!"  I have other friends who have embraced their gray because I've embraced mine!  I have others who say, "your BIG hair is a BIG part of your BRAND", ROCK IT! I agree but how does one stay true to themselves, authentically and take all of these different aspects into consideration. Now don't get me wrong.  I'm sure I'll do another protective style soon enough; however, I think my dilemma is getting past these real feelings swirling around in my mind as I prepare myself to GO LIVE at 5:00PM EST for my Sunday Night Show.

The conversations I have with the woman in the mirror are very similar to the affirmations I share with those I serve, as well as my own 15 year old daughter. "You are beautiful. You are powerful. You are enough!  God has a plan for you!  The women assigned to you don't care what your hair looks like. They just need you to show up so they know that when they don't feel the prettiest or the most confident, they'll show up anyway knowing and believing that It's what's on the inside that matters most!"

As I dig deep within to find the courage and the confidence to show up regardless of what I look like or how it makes me feel, what matters most to me is what my daughter sees!  My Pastor always says, "More is caught than taught." What I want her to catch and hold on to is that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. What we look like and what we've been through does not define us. When it's time for her to make a decision that allows her to stay true to herself, I want her to make one that's not based on fear or what other people may say or think but one that embraces her personal identity and who God made her to be.

I always say, "I'm just a girl from the Bronx who wants to make God proud. 

My hair may not be perfect, but it's ok, it doesn't have to be.

At the end of the day, all they want is me. All they need is me. So I will be the best ME that I can be. Not for them, but for myself and for my daughter.

I hope this resonated with you and gives you permission to BE the best you that you can be!

When all else fails, speak it until your heart believes it and your body follows.